leah angstman

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leah angstman is a poet/writer, editor, publisher, musician, actor, and visual artist raised in a small town outside of Lansing, Michigan, spending most of her youth in East Lansing and Detroit. The majority of her adult life has been in Seattle, Washington, and currently Boston, Massachusetts, where she has spread her affair with art and poetry from coast to coast. leah has been in the small press and underground art movement for over 15 years, running her own publishing company, propaganda press, and her own record label, banshee records. She currently operates an entire conglomerate of indie art revolution called the alternating current arts co-op, which encompasses anything you can imagine in the non-mainstream arts. In addition to this, she publishes an ongoing poetry litzine called "poiesis" and runs a literature blog netzine called "medusa."

leah studied theater, musical theater, Shakespeare, English and American Literature, and creative writing in school, as well as teaching creative poetry classes and directing theater in community colleges. Active in politics, she began Lansing- and Detroit-area chapters of Anti-Racist Action, Amnesty International, and Food Not Bombs; and she currently operates an interactive political ongoing art project called thermonuclear artfare. She was an active member of the Ignition Northwest arts council during her time in Seattle and is currently involved with the art scene in Boston.

leah has published 15 chapbooks and one play, available from propaganda press, and one split chapbook with Mark Sonnenfeld, available from Marymark Press. She has written countless plays, poems, and articles and is currently working on her first solo music album and her first professionally-bound paperback collection of poetry. leah has been published in many literary and underground press magazines, including: Paramasitic Propastitute, The J Man Times, Nothing (Notnivy), The Incognito Project, Mausoleum: mortis es veritus, Vox, Crackrock, The Literature Collection, Real-Life Poet, poiesis, (That's Like) Fighting Godzilla With A Squirtgun, Survivor, Static Zine, Strawberry Lemonade, MaximumRockNRoll, She Locked Herself Up In A Lemon, Zine Solar System, The HSS Reader, Clandestine Times of Incongruity, Pottsie Nation, Catastrophic Thoughts, Red Under, Vacuum Boots, Neo-Barbaric, QUEER, Dank Zine, Fem Zine, Cleave Press, Treats From The Underground, Mutant Renegade Zine, Feelings of the Heart, Clumsy Envy of the Fuzzy Sellout, Liquid Prudence, Fruit Salad, Stuff, Hey...Fool!, Bleeding Velvet Octopus, Kit Zine, I Can't Believe Magazine, Sammy's Got Hemroids, Ishi, and Flyer Times.

Poems

cornhusker highway

tries to put his arm around me from
across the seat the barrier the great divide
kinda sexy albeit uncomfy
these people are so small
someone lives on that farm
someone with nothing else
but that farm
someone who can be simple
someone who could fall in love
with the cornhusker state
maybe enough to stay here
maybe never even leave it
racing the first transcontinental railroad
through the great platte valley
on route 80w
he won't stop at the strategic air command museum
so we pass the exit
through the sporadic frenzied trees
that shoot up out of the middle of the
cornfields like those pop-up books
you read as a child
those silly windmill-looking wind power structures
rise up like thick matchsticks
twisting contorting in a primitive repetition
my lover has never looked prettier
he shines from sunshine or delirium or happiness or something in between
he hasn't gotten to listen to his cds this whole way
as we roll through the
mobile home graveyard
of middle america
so he's happy with his white zombie
even if it doesn't fit the scenery
and as long as he doesn't have to look out the window

he says he has been down this same route
four other times
so i told him he could learn something new the fifth time around
as i tell him about the pawnee
and the oto and major stephen long
and general william ashley
and the transcontinental railroad
and telegraph and mormons and the pony express
that carved out the first fur trade
route to the rocky mountains
he actively listens [active listening =
that mmm-hmm and yeah and oh
that is strategically placed in silent
intervals in someone's speaking pattern
when you don't really care what is
being said but don't want to give that
appearance] he actively listens
very well
but goddamn isn't he pretty
and at least prettier than the dead grasslands
outside the bug splatters and truck rock nicks
this is the junkyard of the living
the undead the strengthening moments
the people you pass with your eyes down
shaking your head inside your head
thinking of irrigation systems and cows
i love this man who doesn't get it either
as we run and run and keep running
run from all this like it's made of stone
and could catch us and turn us the same


--------------------

blinking light for the last time in the ghetto
[or "moving up"]

that blinking light is going to town
outside my window it has an attitude that just won't quit
that blinking bus stop sign
that reads to all the bourgeoisie
welcome to the jungle won't we bring you to your knees
i'm gonna watch you bleed huh
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah bleed yeah
these sleepy lids have caught up with me
in their concrete pleading
i miss the smell of you sleeping beside me
i miss how you breathe all heavy through
your octa-broken nose
when a lotta times it's pressed in my ear
so umm yeah it's all i hear
and now the silence is perplexing
introspection these silly moments to be alone
unwittingly
tomorrow i pack those bags for the long haul
thefuckouttahere
this ghetto and that bus stop light
you're lucky you met a girl who wanted to
getthefuckouttahere
what would you have done if i
had wanted to stay in this deathtrap
vacuum cesspool that is this ghetto of d-town
that claims eminem and my rent and incapacitates me
i said in that slurry drunk voice of mine
smiles
drunkenly
says
clubbed you over the head and
stuffed you in my suitcase


----------------------

the prostitute in apt 9 somehow manages to remind me of you

the woman across the hall from me
in desolation number nine
is a prostitute
i know this now
never have i seen so many men
walk through one door
so at least she must be good at what she does
sad though that she has a kid
and i have sickening thoughts
of that kid witnessing this armageddon
god you seem so far away
as i hear the squeak squeaking during
the restless ghetto night
i put in your earplugs
that you got from the last airplane
i miss you as i stare at scars on the back of my hand
i'm finally writing again
too sad to write for the longest while
the thought suddenly struck me like a club
at save-a-lot this morning
where i was saving-a-lot
on stuff i didn't need
which doesn't really technically actually
amount to much save-a-lotting at all
i didn't even cry the last time you left
so maybe i am finally over the stretch
but now you are the sleep i've been missing
the weariness in my skull
and my sluggish dull step
that's a lotta times back
my insides hollowed by blue eyes
replaced by a pen
dormant for decades
newly finding that hollowed
doesn't have to mean harbored


---------------------

sex with a stranger

is that weird awkward casual sex
that really really hot quiet passionate sex
where you can't even make a sound
because he has you suspended over
the tip of your own tongue
stranger yes that kind of stranger
that you swear you would never tame
even if he started learning little
quirky things about you
like that you turn the car heater
on full blast just so you can wind
down the window even in the winter and that you
fill the bathtub up the whole
way because you like the
sound that little water drainer
makes when it's letting it
all back out
he won't find out these things because
oh his mouth is so hot
his skin so hot on the back of my neck
the touch of his big hands
his hardness embracing my fragility
he is not a perfect man
he is loaded with flaws and blips and
lies he is looking for a playmate
a girl who will remove her dress
and won't ask too many questions
a girl who won't pry into his
consciousness demand gold
change his routine expect him to return
or notice when he's not there
he wants complexity rivaled with simplicity
and then don't you have to remind
yourself constantly that he is not
worth it as you make the drive again
sleep in his bed again fall into him
again and again until suddenly you can't 
crawl back out


---------------

the bored wife

a wife is bored
her husband is talking on his phone
and from her expression
it has been some time this way
neither knows i am staring
but i am empathetically
and inadvertently
feeling the wife's numbness
it's sending its shadow
all the way over here
she fingers her ring
sucks on it a little and
then moves her teeth up to
the tips of her nails
for a minute i see
what i must look like to others
when i am nervous
or anticipatory
he is a chatterbox my goodness
business then golf then back
to business he winks and
smiles a little bit at her
in an i'll be with you soon manner
that she reads as
please take a number
her eyes are so grey
dulled over
two bricks sunken into
clay with no pulse or momentum
her hair is fried out on the tips
from too much coloring
and she occasionally pulls it
back from her eyes then back
over her eyes like it's the
only softness she can touch
her attention wanders to the
busybody server who seems to be
busy with everything except serving
and just then you show up
i look away from them and to you
we both smile when our eyes meet
i say honey please turn your phone off
just in case


----------------------

knockin on your door ma 

i want nothin from you now ma
now that you can't open this door to me
nothin now that i was a kid
when you opened that door for the last time
and i fell out like a cannonball
cut my jaw on the streets
knew nothin but the alley boxes rooftops shelters
sex yeah sex with it didn't matter who

now i have a what the fuck man
but he doesn't know my darkness
where i lived on the edges of those blocks
he doesn't know me
but he's good enough
cuz he don't ask no questions
he don't point no fingers
he's never seen me smile
and he don't seem to mind

i don't blame you now for
the woman you were then
i don't blame you for the scrapper i became
i could just as easily have gone out a saint
but it didn't quite come down that way
in the end

i don't blame you now
but i got goddamn nothin to say to you
a lot of things are broken now
with need of fixin

got nothin to say to you



Links

alternating current arts co-op
myspace blog
medusa netzine
post poems profile
starlite cafe profile
propaganda press on myspace
leah angstman's blogspot
alternating current's blogspot
contact leah angstman

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